I hope you are continuing to enjoy the blog series! This week is a double feature. I appreciate all of the comments on previous posts. If there is a word you would like to hear my perspective on, please comment below. I’d love to hear from you. And, if you missed any of the other posts, you can find them easily here.
You always have the choice to start right NOW!
Whatever you are going through or however you feel stuck, you CAN change it!
Now let’s learn some A, B, C’s!!
Impatient & Instant
–not patient; restless or short of temper especially under irritation, delay, or opposition
–produced or occurring with or as if with extreme rapidity and ease (Merriam-Webster)
We all experience being impatient and wanting instant success. It’s totally normal. I really don’t like to wait in lines. And sometimes after eating healthy and working out for three days in a row, I am upset when I don’t see instant body transformation. What?! It was three days….IN A ROW!! I know I’m not alone in that wishful thinking. So how can we better show up for ourselves in moments of impatience and wishing things would change instantly? Let’s explore.
Physical Space– If you have been decluttering for long, I know you feel the desire for it to instantly be over. There are a ton of decisions to make. Each item in your home has to be addressed. Do you love it, need it, or use it (now, not 10 years ago)? These questions for each item. It can be overwhelming and exhausting.
That’s why I think it’s okay to get frustrated about decluttering for short periods of time. It would be great to be zen throughout the entire process, but that’s not very realistic.
Decluttering is uncomfortable, and it doesn’t happen instantly.
Practicing patience with yourself during the process is one of the most kind things you can do. because there is a fine line between pressing yourself too hard and pulling yourself toward the end goal. If you press over the line, you run the risk of burning out, throwing your hands up, and defeating yourself.
Now, your brain really wants you to quit! Yep, you read that right. Your brain loves habits and certainty. It takes a lot of energy for your brain to make so many decisions and to handle all the emotions that come up as you declutter.
I don’t blame it for wanting to quit, but knowing this, will allow you to learn how to deal with your “quitting brain”. Think of your “quitting brain” as a toddler.
Every time a toddler wants candy, you don’t immediately and always give the toddler the candy. And, sometimes when you don’t give the toddler candy, she throws a tantrum. Now do you give in and give her the candy? Maybe you do. But more likely you tell her, “I know you really want the candy and see you are upset, but you have to eat your veggies before you get the candy?”
This is exactly how you can talk to your “toddler brain”. You can tell yourself, “I know this is hard and I’m upset with myself for accumulating all this stuff, but I really want to have a clean and clear space, so I’m going to work for 30 more minutes and then take a break.”
Consistently talking to yourself like this will keep you moving forward toward your decluttering goals. Hope this tip helps you get unstuck.
Financial Space– Think about how you think about your finances. Notice how you feel. Does it bring up shame, guilt, fear, or anxiety? Does it bring up security and pride?
If you have debt outside of your mortgage, you are likely wishing you were out of debt. It’s great to have money goals to work toward, but notice if you want the debt to be gone so much so that you are unwilling to really explore the debt long enough to think about solutions. Being able to answer questions the questions below is crucial in being able to find solutions.
How much debt do I have?
How did I accumulate this debt?
What can I do to reduce this debt?
Getting out of debt takes a consistent approach. You will be impatient to reach your goal. Plan for that.
You can either use this to fuel your motivation to get out of debt even more or you can succumb to the discomfort and defeat yourself before you even get started.
Just as I described above about the “toddler brain,” you can talk to yourself in a way that recognizes your frustration, but still holds yourself accountable to your goal. It could look something like this.
You normally buy a $5 coffee on your lunch break with co-workers everyday. You have decided you are serious about getting out of debt. When lunch time comes, you go to lunch and while your co-workers get their coffee, your “toddler brain” starts to complain, “Why can’t I just have the coffee? It doesn’t really matter to save $5. It’s going to take forever to get out of debt at this rate, so what’s the point in all this suffering anyway?”
At first, these complaints will be difficult to resist, but in practice and through consistent self-parenting, you will be able to calm the tantrum and stay on track with your goals. You could reply to your “toddler brain”, “I know that I want the coffee and that makes sense because I’ve had one everyday for years now, but I really want to get out of debt too, so today I’m going to choose to work toward that goal.”
It’s that simple and some days will be easier than others, but through a consistent approach and understanding of your own impatience and desire for instant gratification, you will reach your money goals.
Final Thoughts on Impatient and Instant
Changing long standing behavior patterns usually takes time and consistent effort. Just like going to the gym once, you don’t expect to see an instant beach ready bod. Your body needs to experience the consistent discomfort to produce the changes you want to see. This is part of the process of evolving into the best versions of ourselves. And some days your “toddler brain” will win. This doesn’t mean you quit and beat yourself up. You are learning new skills. Be kind to yourself, get back up, and keep working and failing toward your goals!
Tell me about some of the areas in your life where you are impatient or want results instantly.
What stories did your “toddler brain” tell you this week?
